Because $69 a month is better than a pledge of loyalty.
Forgoing any illusion of trying to earn a second term by doing things like, say, not getting impeached, Donald Trump openly began his re-election campaign less than a month into his presidency.
Photos: A Sad Timeline Of Trump’s First Month In Office ├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥ Complete With GIFs Of Bachelor Contestants Crying!
But rallies don’t win elections — money does. And Trump has already found a novel way to raise funds for 2020.
No, not by being a good President that makes our citizens more secure so that they feel a civic duty to donate money — seriously, stop thinking like such a loser!
The man who literally shits on a toilet made of gold is going another route — the subscription box service.
For those who haven’t tried out the growing trend, these subscriptions (like Birchbox, Nature Box, and Loot Crate) involve paying a nominal monthly fee and receiving a box full of goodies specific to your wants.
The best boxes are incredibly convenient, making sure the snacks you have around the house are healthy or removing the stress of shopping for clothes in your exact size. The worst are holes down which to throw your disposable income as you get back cheap branded merchandise not worth nearly what you’re paying for the experience of opening a monthly “gift.”
Related: Trump Can’t Even Walk A Few Blocks Without Needing A Golf Cart! Sad!
Guess which category Trump’s Big League Box falls into?
Multiple journalists shared the offers they got from the Trump Make America Great Again Committee on Twitter, and boy does it look like shit!
The Trump campaign is taking the @birchbox subscription approach, introducing the “big league box” pic.twitter.com/41zUCxAlYA
— Betsy Klein (@betsy_klein) May 29, 2017
For $69, a Trump-of-the-month box to benefit @POTUS‘ re-election campaign and the @GOP pic.twitter.com/PXqjlnCRDu
— Dave Levinthal (@davelevinthal) May 29, 2017
$69/month is definitely on the high side of prices for this sort of thing. And much like Trump’s steaks, wine, and “university,” it’s all crap.
We mean, a mug, a T-shirt, and buttons? This is shit campaigns give away FOR FREE, and the POTUS wants to trick people into giving him their hard-earned money for it??
Dammit, it’s probably going to work, too. We mean, he conned people into giving him their votes already…
Ick. Forget Russia, let’s lock him up for this.
[Image via CNN.]
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