Grimes’ “training regimen” is no joke! Or, maybe it is…
We’re not exactly sure. Nor are the many social media users currently scratching their heads over the indie pop star’s very eccentric “360 approach” to training, which includes extensive vitamin intake, “astro-gliding” into other dimensions, and experimental eyeball surgery.
Shortly after it was announced the singer-songwriter was chosen to star in the newest campaign for Adidas by Stella McCartney, she took to Instagram to promote the campaign by outlining her extreme regimen.
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As per usual for Grimes, it was hard to tell how much — if any — of her post was serious. The section on the vitamins she takes was convincing enough, though, as she wrote:
“I first maintain a healthy cellular routine where I maximize the function of my mitochondria with supplements such as NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Magnesium, etc. This helps promote ATP and it’s incredibly visceral.”
Okay. So, those words are all real — trust us, we Googled! — but as the 31-year-old’s post went on, it got a bit more satirical.
She continued:
“From that point I spend 2-4 hours in my deprivation tank, this allows me to ‘astro-glide’ to other dimensions – past, present, and future.”
At a glance, this, too, seems legit — only, she didn’t say “astral travel.” Astro-glide is a personal lubricant that, to our knowledge, is not conducive to inter-dimensional time hopping. (Maybe we’ve just been using it the wrong way?)
From there, the artist claims she has a “1-2 hour sword fighting session,” followed by “30-45 minutes on an inclined hike at roughly 4-4.5 miles per hour” and “45 minutes stretching” to get her mind and body “functioning at peak level” before recording.
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Once she’s in the studio, the songstress does “a screaming session for 20-25 minutes while I slow boil the honey tea that maximizes vocal proficiency.”
This one’s a toss up, tbh.
Grimes went on to allege she also her vision permanently altered thanks to “experimental surgery” meant to “cure seasonal depression,” writing:
“I have also eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression.”
Wait… an “orange ultra-flex polymer” she “made in the lab” with a friend? Really? Is this an episode of Black Mirror we forgot about?
We’d call B.S. on that last part — then again, Grimes IS dating the founder of SpaceX and Neuralink, so anything’s possible we guess.
The last part of the post, though, hints it was all in jest. She wrote:
“I go to bed with a humidifier on.”
Okay… now, that we can fully support!
Grimes closed out the post with a series of hashtags: #asmc, #adidasparley, #createdwithadidas, and, confusingly, #gentrifymordor.
What do U think, Perezcious readers? Is this post one big joke or is Grimes being totally serious? Or is it a little of both?
Read her full post (below) and astro-glide into the comments with your thoughts!
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz9LsAIFaLR/
[Image via FayesVision/WENN]
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