Pamela Anderson feels Tommy Lee might have been the love of her life. The only love.
The 55-year-old actress is dropping a memoir called Love, Pamela at the end of the month. In it, she opens up about the ups and downs of her marriage to the Mötley Crüe drummer — and makes a shocking confession about their time together. According to an excerpt obtained by People on Wednesday, she writes that despite having a tumultuous relationship, she believes her “relationship with Tommy may have been the only time I was ever truly in love.” That’s heartbreaking to hear, especially since they had such an infamously toxic relationship at times.
Related: Pamela Felt ‘Sick’ Over Resurfaced Sex Tape Scandal — Claps Back At Pam & Tommy!
As you know, the former couple frequently made headlines throughout their romance, including when they got married in 1995 on the beach in Cancun – during which Pamela wore a bikini and Tommy sported board shorts. While their love had been a whirlwind, the Baywatch alum writes:
“We had fun, and our rules was no rules.”
However, things soon began to come crashing down for the pair in 1996 when their personal videos were stolen from a safe in their garage and made into their infamous “sex tape” — leading to a whole new level of public scrutiny for them. Pamela, who has never watched the NSFW tape, recalls:
“It ruined lives, starting with our relationship — and it’s unforgivable that people, still to this day, think they can profit from such a terrible experience, let alone a crime.”
From that point on, the pressure and stress of the sex tape scandal caused their marriage to crumble. Eventually, it all came to a head one night in 1998 when the love of her life assaulted her. Pamela says Tommy twisted her arm while she was holding their seven-month-old son Dylan, and Brandon was playing nearby:
“Tommy ripped Brandon off me and threw me and Dylan into a wall.”
Awful. Pamela immediately called 911, and Tommy was arrested. He ended up serving six months in jail. Following the domestic violence incident, the Barb Wire star notes in the book that is when “our hell began,” and she filed for divorce:
“The divorce from Tommy was the hardest, lowest, most difficult point of my life. I was crushed. I still couldn’t believe that the person I loved the most was capable of what had happened that night. We were both devastated, but I had to protect my babies.”
Despite everything that happened between them, Pamela reveals in the book she and Tommy “check in, every once in a while,” adding:
“Tommy is the father of my kids and I’m forever grateful.”
Since Pam’s divorce from Tommy, she has been married four more times. She got hitched once to Kid Rock, twice to Rick Salomon, and most recently to Dan Hayhurst. Apparently none of those were real love?
Nowadays, Pamela shares, she is living her best single life at her grandparents’ former farmhouse on Vancouver Island with her five dogs:
“I live a more romantic life now that I’m alone than I did in relationships. l light my candles, have my music playing. I have my piano, I’m sure it would be lovely if someone else was in my life and wanted the same thing but I’ve just never met them. It’s usually about catering to them, and there has to be a balance.”
She adds:
“I don’t need someone to bring me roses. I’ve just planted a hundred rose bushes. I can get them any time I want — and they’re my favorite roses.”
*Cue Miley Cyrus’ track Flowers!*
Reactions to what Pamela had to say, Perezcious readers? Let us know in the comments below.
[Image via Chris Connor/WENN, MEGA/WENN, WENN/Avalon]