We can't believe it!

It's been one year since Asslee pushed Bronx Mowgli through her vayjayjay and it's all the family is talking about!

Auntie Simpleton took to her Twitter for a celebratory tweet: "Happy Birthday to my precious angel on earth!!! Bronx is 1 today!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!! I can't believe it has been a year already."

It even gave Asslee something to be happy about!

She Tweeted: "BX's 1st bday tomorrow! My angel is going to be a year!! The greatest year of my life."

Poppa Pete also offered some astute observations on the exciting day!!! "Happy birthday bx. you dont have twitter and cant read this," he Tweeted. "Thanks to all my friends that recorded lullabies. cant believe its been a year."

Poor lil' thing doesn't stand a chance!!!

P.S. CLICK HERE to "follow" Perez on Twitter!

[Image via Owen Beiny/WENN.]

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And she knows how to ice 'em!

Jessica Simpson is on a new fitness mission! She's rehired longtime trainer Mike Alexander, who got her ass cheeks ready to hang out of those Daisy Dukes! And according to her Twitter, Simpleton is just not what she used to be!

She Tweets:

look at what age can do to a total badass At least my legs will look good!

why am i still hurting from our workout earlier? I'm getting old! See you tomorrow with a pouty face and sore buns.

But, for someone who has taken so much undeserved weight-related heat, we'd expect her to be a little more perceptive - though that's never been her strong suit!

Where were her handlers when she inadvertently labeled herself Hefty?!

P.S. CLICK HERE to "follow" Perez on Twitter!

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Oh those Simpson sisters are such serious thespians!

J. Simpleton took to her Twitter to express her disdain for Melrose Place and support for her recently-fired sister, Asslee Simpson.

Says Jess:

"CW catching up on MP.who writes this crap?i have had bad scripts to work with,but this?thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press."

Is it bad scripts or bad acting? You've been known to participate in some bombs yourself. Major Movie Star, anyone?

An insider revealed that Ass was fired from Melrose Place because "she was embarrassingly bad. Producers cut her down as much as possible." Another said that "she's the worst actress, but nobody will tell her."

Apparently Ass doesn't want to go back to singing either because she would have to tour and be away from son Bronx Mowgli.

So she can't act and she can't sing? Sounds like someone could fade into obscurity at any moment…

Jess will welcome you with open arms!

[Image via WENN.]

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It wouldn't surprise us!

Lindsay seems to be back on the peen and Gerard Butler is a total manwhore, being linked to both Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston recently!

Lindsay Lohan was in Morocco for the Sol Kerzner Mazagan Beach Resort launch this weekend, and it was quite the celebrity event with Naomi Campbell, Guy Ritchie, Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber also in attendance.

But Lindsay only had eyes for Gerard apparently and they were spotted making out after a bout of dirty dancing.

Lindsay told the UK's Mirror:

"I'm fed up of all the drama. I just want to find someone who loves me back. I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack every time I think about the break-up [from SaMAN Ronson]. I came here to get away from it all. I’m ready to have fun now…I’ve got no ring on my finger so I’m gonna have lots of fun. This is the most romantic place in the world after all."

Gerard and Lindsay were last seen taking off together in a golf cart into the night.

We know what those two got up to!

[Image via WENN.]

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Looks like someone is trying to squash this rumor and quick.

Earlier today, reports were that Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler were getting extra friendly in New York.

The two were said to have been flirting all night over dinner with friends and later left together, with Jess's favorite accessory, Ken Paves, tagging along.

But Gerard an anonymous source has now stated that "There is nothing romantic there at all" between Butler and Simpson.

With Jessica another source adding, "I'm never surprised to hear that Gerard is with someone new. None of those relationships last. Certainly he's not planning on settling down with Jessica Simpson … Gerard plays the field … and Jessica is lonely … and she lost weight and is looking good."

Well, there doesn't need to be any romance sometimes if all you're looking for is a quick shag.

Just saying.

What do U guys think, would Jess and Gerard make a good couple or one odd match?

[Image via WENN.]

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Oh, Jess, he just seems the type to break a girl's heart!

But you're already an expert on that!

Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler were seen out at Soho House in New York on Tuesday night along with her BFF and hair stylist Ken Paves and some other friends. An insider reveals:

"They were at a table with friends, but Jessica and Gerard, who sat next to each other, seemed to only be interested in each other and chatted for hours. They were laughing and flirting and eventually left together, along with Ken."

Left with Ken, huh?

Maybe they engaged in a bit of a threesome? They are Gerry's favorite, you know!

[Image via WENN.]

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After realizing what a douche move they made on Sunday with their skit mocking Jessica Simpson, Fox released a statement apologizing for being so inventive insensitive:

"Burger King Corp. did not have any editorial input in the creation of the animation that ran last Sunday, and no one from Burger King Corp. approved it before it aired. Upon reflection, our poor attempt at humor was insensitive and we deeply apologize to anyone who might have been offended."

A rep for Burger King adds:

"Burger King Corp. has a long-standing relationship with FOX Sports, as well as an extensive media partnership with the network. The specific content for this sketch involving Jessica Simpson was not developed or aired by BKC or any of its agencies."

We expect to hear Jessica reply with: "Fuck off and send free Whoppers!"

We kid, we kid…kind of.

[Image via WENN.]

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Seriously?!

Call her dumb, call her high maintenance, call her a curse, but fat is the least of Simpleton's problems!

On a Burger King sponsored cartoon that aired during Fox's NFL Sunday, Jessica Simpson was mocked for her supposed weight gain by animated versions of the Dallas Cowboys and their coach.

LAME!!!!

"Man, I still can't believe Tony dated Jessica Simpson, even after she blew up bigger than Flozell Adams!" said a cartoon Marion Barber.

"Unlike Tony, at least Jessica comes up big when it counts!" responded Jason Wittens.

And maybe of personal favorite, coach Wade Phillips adds, "Say Tony, is Jessica around? We could use a defensive tackle!"

Give yourself a pat on the back, Fox!

Not only are you politically outdated, but you're about 6 months behind on simple pop culture trivia!

CLICK HERE to voluntarily subject yourself to the skit!!!

[Image via WENN.]

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After having her beloved dog Daisy snatched away by a coyote last month, Jessica Simpson continues to be devastated by the loss.

"Daisy meant the world to me," said Jessica. "I hold her memory very, very close. It was an unfortunate thing what happened. That I don't have her every day… It's a very hard thing to talk about."

At least she's accepted the inevitable, but unfortunately, she thinks she's Miss Cleo. Jess knows exactly what Daisy would want for her from beyond the grave.

"I haven't really thought about another dog yet, but maybe sometime," she told Us. "[Daisy] would want that."

As much as her earnestness bring the LOLs, we kid!

Of course, we wouldn't know what to do if something happened to our Teddy!

[Image via WENN.]

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