Billie Lourd is paying tribute to her late mother, Carrie Fisher.
On the seventh anniversary of her death, the 31-year-old actress took to Instagram Wednesday to share an emotional post reflecting on the varying iterations of grief she still feels to this day. Alongside a throwback picture of her and her mom, Billie wrote:
“It has been 7 years since my mom died (but who’s counting?? Me I guess?) Every anniversary brings a different iteration of my grief. Some infuse me with rage, some make me cry all day long, some make me feel dissociated and empty, some make me feel nothing, some make me feel guilty for feeling nothing, and some make me feel all of those things all at once.”
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But this year on the anniversary of Carrie’s death? The American Horror Story star, who shares 3-year-old son Kingston and 1-year-old daughter Jackson with husband Austen Rydell, shared that she “woke up I felt grateful – or griefull if you will.” She explained:
“Grief has infused my life with a sense of appreciation I had never had before. It makes me soak up every moment of joy as if it were my last. Today I was holding my daughter while she was napping in my arms and my eyes welled up with tears of joy. I laughed at myself then cried more cause I was laughing. I felt my mombys presence like the warmth of the sun on your skin on a hot summer day. The kind of warmth where you unknowingly close your eyes and take a slow breath through your nose and grin.”
While Billie knows it’s cliché to say, she truly feels her mother is with her every single day of her life. She concluded:
“I miss her every day but the cliche is also true – she is with me every day – she infuses my joyful moments with even more joy. As I tell my son, she lives in the stars – and she damn sure makes my life sparkle. Sending my love to all my griefers out there. And hoping everyone can feel a little sparkle of griefull among all the feelings grief inevitably brings.”
Beautifully said. You can read the entire tribute (below):
We’re sending love and light to Billie during this difficult week. Reactions to the tribute, Perezcious readers? Let us now in the comments below.
[Image via Nicky Nelson/WENN, WENN]
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