Backstreet Boys' AJ McLean Gives Update On Where He & Estranged Wife Stand Months After Separation

AJ McLean is opening up about where he and his estranged wife stand.

Back in March, the Backstreet Boys alum revealed that he and Rochelle, his wife of 12 years, were splitting up “temporarily” so they could both do some soul searching. The pair said in a statement via TMZ at the time:

“Marriage is hard, but worth it. We have mutually decided to separate temporarily to work on ourselves, and on our marriage with the hope of building a stronger future. The plan is to come back together and continue to nurture our love for one another, and our family.”

Well, it’s now been eight months since then. Are they back together? Did the time apart work? Have they built that “stronger future”?? Don’t worry, AJ’s got the answers!

While appearing on the Sex, Lies, and Spray Tans podcast last week, the 45-year-old told host Cheryl Burke:

“We still live separately, but we are in couples therapy. We are in individual therapy. We talk every day. We are spending more time together. We just have to rebuild something that was never there from the beginning.”

Wow. That sounds like quite the task. The singer then recalled something a pal had told him:

“You guys were ball gagged, handcuffed, ankle cuffed, thrown in the water and said, ‘Be in a relationship.’”

DAMN. But AJ seemingly agreed, adding his own commentary on their rocky start:

“It’s impossible. I came with baggage, she came with baggage. She had trauma, I had trauma. I wasn’t sober or even ready to get sober, she was dealing with her own s**t. It was just a constant push-pull. She would sweep her feelings under the rug, I would do the same thing or I’d dive into a bottle.”

But times are changing! He said:

“Now, it’s taken this time apart for us to really do some serious growing and understanding and listening.”

The father of two shared that he and Rochelle swear by the “luver” acronym, which stands for listen, understand, be vulnerable, have empathy, and reiterate. He explained:

“If you and I are having a conversation and you’re telling me your feelings, I’m validating your feelings, I’m hearing your feelings and I have empathy, because normally I would twist it and make it about me. Not anymore. ‘Luver’ is a great way to communicate not only with your partner, but just people in general. Have empathy, listen to them, validate their feelings because they are their feelings. It doesn’t matter if you agree with it, but it’s their feelings. They own that.”

He added:

“By us kind of approaching things now that way, it’s been much, much healthier.”

Well that’s certainly great to hear! It sounds like they’ve got a LOT to work through, but they’re doing a ton of growth. It’s worth it for themselves and for their kids, Ava, 10, and Lyric, 6.