[Warning: Potentially Triggering Content]
Selena Gomez’s new documentary My Mind & Me premieres on Apple TV+ on Friday, and judging by a new interview with Rolling Stone out on Thursday, it is bound to be very, very revealing.
While promoting her upcoming film, the singer sat down with the outlet to discuss some of the mental health challenges she has been facing largely in private for the last several years. The Disney Channel alum revealed she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder during an Instagram Live with Miley Cyrus in 2020 and has been outspoken about caring for her mental wellness ever since. Now we know why it is so important to her.
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Selena’s challenges really became apparent to her in her early 20s — though she had no idea what was going on at first. She recalled:
“I’m going to be very open with everybody about this: I’ve been to four treatment centers. I think when I started hitting my early twenties is when it started to get really dark, when I started to feel like I was not in control of what I was feeling, whether that was really great or really bad.”
She found herself experiencing a series of highs and lows that would last weeks or months at a time. On her better days, like in one instance, she was convinced she needed to buy everyone she knew a car to share the “gift” she had been given with those in her life. Inevitably, a low would follow:
“It would start with depression, then it would go into isolation. Then it just was me not being able to move from my bed. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. My friends would bring me food because they love me, but none of us knew what it was. Sometimes it was weeks I’d be in bed, to where even walking downstairs would get me out of breath.”
Sadly, this “dark” place led her to contemplate suicide. Though she never attempted it, she spent a few years with the thought weighing on her mind. The 30-year-old revealed:
“I thought the world would be better if I wasn’t there.”
Suicidal ideation is terrifying, with your mind making you believe that there’s no other option. We don’t care how many treatment centers Selly has been to, we are so glad she got help and never acted on these harrowing thoughts.
In 2018 though, a year before she was ultimately diagnosed with bipolar, her mental health journey reached a new point when Selena began “hearing voices.” This led to an episode of “psychosis,” during which people lose contact with reality. The Only Murders in the Building star doesn’t remember everything that happened, but she knows she ended up in a mental health facility because of this episode. Shockingly, her mom Mandy Teefey learned about this breakdown via TMZ! Yikes.
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During her time in rehab, she told the magazine she was paranoid for several months, unable to trust anyone, and constantly thinking everyone was all out to get her. Her friends have since told her she was unrecognizable then. After the 2018 episode, she ended up on a ton of medication while in treatment. It helped her psychosis, but ultimately made her feel unlike herself. After slowly “walking out of psychosis,” she still had a long way to go to fully recover:
“It was just that I was gone. There was no part of me that was there anymore.”
Thankfully, she sought help from a psychiatrist afterward and landed on two medications that allow her to manage her mental health while also feeling like herself. But it was a challenging process, the former child star detailed:
“I had to detox, essentially, from the medications I was on. I had to learn how to remember certain words. I would forget where I was when we were talking. It took a lot of hard work for me to a) accept that I was bipolar and b) learn how to deal with it because it wasn’t going to go away.”
Whoa…
While she is happy with the two medicines she is on now, they also come with a price. The actress revealed she might not be able to get pregnant because of them, but this revelation is something she’s learning to be comfortable with:
“That’s a very big, big present thing in my life. [But] however I’m meant to have them, I will.”
Such a great perspective.
Selena also tackled another hot topic in the Rolling Stone interview — her relationship with ex-boyfriend Justin Bieber’s wife Hailey Bieber. Without naming Hailey, she referenced the model’s recent Call Her Daddy interview, saying:
“Somebody made a comment and it involved me, and then for two days I felt bad about myself.”
Instead of letting it set her back, she decided to tackle it head-on:
“I was like, I’m just going to say, ‘Everybody be kind to each other. Everybody just focus on what’s going on in the real world.’”
The pair were just photographed together at an event, as well, so it seems she’s really committed to helping fans — and herself — get past the online drama! Since the documentary was filmed throughout several years of her life, we wouldn’t be surprised if she mentions more about the Biebers in the full movie. For now, check out the trailer to see just how emotional things will get (below):
My Mind & Me is so raw, Selly almost wasn’t willing to release it, she told Rolling Stone:
“I’m just so nervous. Because I have the platform I have, it’s kind of like I’m sacrificing myself a little bit for a greater purpose. I don’t want that to sound dramatic, but I almost wasn’t going to put this out. God’s honest truth, a few weeks ago, I wasn’t sure I could do it.”
It’s very brave of her to get so candid about her mental health challenges for the sake of others in a similar headspace! Seeing her story, and specifically how hard she fought to get the help and treatment she needed, is bound to inspire others who are struggling. Thoughts?! Let us know (below).
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