Much like her relationship with her 52-year-old husband, Courtney Stodden's new magazine cover is equal parts vulgar, seXXXy, and just plain weird!!
After lending her likeness to life sized wall-porn, the always unpredictable teen bride decided to pose for the cover of a magazine!!
Though not exactly a top-tiered tome of style like Cosmo or Marie Claire, we're sure a Girls & Corpses cover comes with just as much prestige!!
Wait… a what and WHAT?
It's true! But for a few well placed zombie hands, Courtney would be completely exposed on the cover of a magazine about chicks and the undead!
Coutney revealed the dirty deets about her experience
Or rather, a life-size picture of Courtney Stodden can be pressed up against your wall…
…but still for sexy fun timez!
You see, Perezcious readers, Courtney can now be all yours in the bedroom if you don’t mind her being a little, well, flat.
Sorry, the knockers still belong to Doug Hutchison!
She partnered up with TheBlownUp.com to create super classy life-size wall art of herself that has her scantily clad for your enjoyment!
And she can’t wait for fans to rub up against her as she commented:
Who knew the naturally gorgeous teen "actress" Courtney Stodden had such lovely sisters…
Like punk-rocker Courtland!
And boy does Courtland have A LOT to say about her "slutty," "famewhoring" sister Courtney!
Meet Courtland, frontwoman of Cum Ballz of Blood (above)!
But wait! Courtney also has a mysteriously foreign sister called Courtina, who we THINK is supposed to be Latina.
In all seriousness…
We don't even know how to react. No words.
Familiarize yourself with Courtney's other "sister" Courtina …AFTER THE JUMP!!!
Poor, poor Courtney Stodden!
It's nearly impossible for the teen bride to get positive press because her beauty is so, so intimidating! Well, at least that's what Court and momanger Krista Stodden are saying.
The attention loving vixen has a message for all the "haters" that think her newest batch of toppless holiday photos are anything less than the XXXmas perfection!
In a statement, delivered by her momma, the young Mrz. Stodden profoundly said:
Happy Birthday Baby Jesus!!
Courtney Stodden just LOVES her husband Christmas!
The attention-love-teen-bride is using her only best assets to Santa spread holiday magic to all the girls and boys this year by hiring someone to take naked pictures of her!
The duchess of klass told sources she released these seXXXy Santa pics cuz:
So we all know that Courtney Stodden has been hard at work searching for the male lead in the music video for her new single, Reality!
If we recall, the best case casting scenario was Chris Hemsworth, and if all else failed, she could use her 52-year-old husband!
Well, according to the teen bride, she must have decided upon a happy medium, because she recently hold an open casting call - Doug Hutchison creepily loyally by her side - at which she critiqued a plethora of scantily-clad men until she made her selection!
She explained afterwards:
Hide yo kids! Hide your wives erection!
Courtney Stodden loose in Beverly Hills!
The teen bride and her guardian husband, Doug Hutchison, just happened to "run into" some paparazzi while running some errands Thrusday.
As per usual, the future porn reality star was dressed like a video vixen — in full make up and sky high heels.
Where was she going, you ask? A convenience store!
What, you don't take two hours to get ready to hang out at Seven-Elleven?? HA!
Keep it up Courtney! You're 15 minutes is running out!
You better use your milk-bags to squeeze out every last drop of attention you can get.
[Image via AKM-GSI.]
