Playboy Bombshell! Crystal Hefner Reveals She Was Never 'In Love' With Hef!

Crystal Hefner is breaking her late hubby’s rule of keeping his legacy untarnished in her new book — and she wants you to know that if you think you understand her relationship with Hugh Hefner, you definitely don’t.

In her new memoir Only Say Good Things: Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself, out next Tuesday, the 37-year-old former Playboy model opens up in a way she never has before about her love life with the man she married.

In an advanced copy snagged by People, Crystal talks about her misconceptions of her power when Hef first invited her to stay at the Mansion:

“At the time I thought I was on top. I thought, wow, if I just like everything that he likes and do all the things that he wants me to do, then I’m the favorite. And I was, but I just lost myself in the process.”

That included not spending the money he gave her on anything other than beauty products. And she always had to wear Playboy merch, even though “those shirts were uncomfortable and cheap.” And of course, always dying her hair if Hef spotted even the hint of a brunette root:

“So I’d have to go bleach it and it would burn my scalp and I’d have blisters. But for some reason I thought this was all normal and that’s what it meant to be seen as beautiful in Hef’s eyes.”

Then she drops the bombshell. She admits she did feel love and care for the man who was 60 years her senior, but was never really “in love” with him:

“I realized I was dealing with a really big power imbalance. It seemed like a world of success and fantasy, but everyone’s having to sleep with an 80-year-old. There’s a price. Everything has a price.”

In fact, she admitted that when they got engaged, she initially ran away from him! In the book, she revealed she initially accepted his proposal but disappeared from his life soon after, only to return after what she describes as a destructive and toxic relationship with Jordan McGraw — you know, Dr. Phil‘s son. Who knows how different her life would’ve been if she would’ve never gone back to Hef!

What do U think about this bombshell, Perezcious readers? Are U surprised about Crystal’s feelings toward Hugh during their marriage? Let us know (below).

[Image via Crystal Hefner/YouTube/FayesVision/WENN.com]