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Grieving Chrissy Teigen Recalls Music Video Pregnancy Announcement: 'I Am So Full Of Regret… I Hurt Every Day'

chrissy teigen recalls pregnancy announcement with regret

It’s rare to see someone experience the stages of grief so publicly, on such a huge platform.

Chrissy Teigen has never shied away from sharing the good, bad, and ugly of her life (even when it gets her in trouble for being a bit “tone deaf.”) She shared her excitement and joy during pregnancy with her son Jack, and equally shared the pain and devastation of his loss. Approaching what would have been his due date, John Legend’s wife continued to be open with her followers about living with her grief.

Related: Chrissy Will ‘Never’ Be Pregnant Again Following Loss Of Baby Boy

Sharing a set of photos from the Wild music video shoot — which served as the couple’s pregnancy announcement — the Cravings author reflected:

“these are from our video shoot for Wild in Mexico. I was 10 weeks along and out of my mind happy. I knew the video would take a bit to get together so thought it would be cute to share our news with the world through the ol classic hand on belly trick at the end. I could have never imagined what would happen over the next 10 weeks…not sure I’ll ever be able to watch that video again without sobbing but I hope he feels my tears and knows we miss him so. He would have been here any day now – if he were like Luna and Miles, I’d probably be holding him as we speak.”

She went on:

“I am so full of regret that I didn’t look at his face when he was born. I was so scared of seeing him in my nightmares that I forgot about seeing him in my dreams. I hurt every day from that remorse. This month is a rough reminder and to be honest, I thought the worst was over but I guess life and emotions aren’t on any sort of schedule. Love you guys to pieces and am grateful for all your support and love. I firmly believe energy and healing travels through the night sky and I feel it, I promise I do. and I love you jack. I miss you so so much.”

Earlier this week, the 35-year-old revealed that she would be having surgery for endometriosis, coinciding with the emotional milestone. Ever one to update on social media, she shared some thoughts about her recovery on Twitter:

“I know kids are extremely antsy beings normally but they absolutely absolutely flail, high kick and tornado more when you tell them to be careful around your healing body?? they feel the calm energy and they MUST f**kin break it STAT!”

The healing momma also posted some amusing videos on her Instagram Story that appear to depict a post-surgery high, chowing down on Bob’s Donuts and watching Curb Your Enthusiasm (below).

Related: Chrissy Recalls Her Time As A ‘C-Class Naomi Campbell’ Bikini Model

But again, she didn’t shield followers from the more difficult part of recovery either, slowly explaining:

“I thought I would be… I usually am really good after. Um… this one’s toughie. My whole belly’s got numbed. Kind of like… I don’t know… gone numb for like, couple days. Couple of the next days. Hopefully it’ll stay that way. It makes it hard, every little like, cough and stuff. But it is truly still better than contractions, and the pain of endo.”

Later, she added:

“I don’t feel great, but tomorrow’s gonna be worse. So… yeah.”

We continue to keep Chrissy in our thoughts and wish her a speedy (and hopefully not too painful) recovery. And as always, we appreciate her vulnerability and honesty — we hope opening up about this journey reaches other women experiencing the same.

[Image via John Legend/YouTube & Chrissy Teigen/Instagram]

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Feb 05, 2021 07:40am PDT