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The Trumps Are Moving To Florida -- Why Not Back To NYC??

Donald Trump Melania Moving Florida Mar-A-Lago Barron Schools

Donald Trump can say he won the election all day long on Twitter, but at a certain point (January 20, 2021 — 47 days from now, not that we’re counting) he will actually have to leave the White House.

So the question was, where would he go? To Trump Tower in New York City or to his Other White House — Mar-A-Lago?

Well, Melania Trump has clearly made her decision. While her hubby rants and raves about the election being “rigged” she’s moving on from the job of FLOTUS — the one everyone says she never wanted in the first place and clearly didn’t enjoy. (See her already infamous, “Who gives a f**k about Christmas stuff and decoration” leaked audio.)

Related: Trump Is Retweeting Randy Quaid Now!

So how do we know Melania is dead set on Palm Beach and not a return to her home in Trump Tower, where she lived for years before the inauguration (and several months afterward)? A source told People on Thursday:

“Melania is checking out a good Florida school for Barron. They have looked all over Palm Beach County and neighboring Broward County for just the right place. There are several options, and they will decide soon.”

Sources also say her parents will be spending more time in the area to help raise their grandson. Goodness knows Donny isn’t going to do it!

Speaking of which, are we sure he’s planning to go? And not, you know, seal himself into a bunker below 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?

According to the latest reports the staff are currently renovating Trump’s private 2,000 square foot residence at the Palm Beach, Florida resort, apparently getting ready for his arrival. See, that can’t be just for Melania because they live in separate lodgings there. Super romantic.

An insider close the President told the mag:

“Donald’s apartment, which once belonged to Mar-a-Lago estate creator Marjorie Merriweather Post, will be expanded and spruced up. They are definitely renovating his apartment within the Mar-a-Lago Club to make it larger, more modern and comfortable for his use.”

We assume they’ll be putting a fresh layer of gold leaf on the toilet.

While he and his cronies may be saying the fight isn’t over and they’ll prove there was widespread fraud even if they have to engineer it… but behind closed doors even Delusional Donald knows it’s all over.

As for why he picked Mar-A-Lago over his NYC Tower? Well, it certainly doesn’t hurt that he’s treated better there than anywhere else. It’s not just that he won the state of Florida, and he lost New York — though we’re sure that played a part, as petty as he is.

Video: Lara Trump Says Trump Supporters ‘Do Not Feel’ Like Biden Won

But we have to assume the fact prosecutors for the Southern District of New York have been looking closely at his finances and other dirty dealings over the past few years. (Remember how they made him shut down his charity because it was so crooked??) In NYC, he’d be under a microscope at all times.

At Mar-A-Lago, he’s treated like royalty and he can spend his days doing what he loves most, the thing he’s spent over 20% of his presidency doing: golfing. He’s just a quick drive from his course in West Palm Beach.

Anyway, in case that whole self-pardon thing doesn’t work out, any federal prosecutors will know where to find him!

[Image via WENN/Instar.]

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Dec 04, 2020 13:20pm PDT