Kaitlyn Bristowe is going through it right now.
Of course, the 38-year-old former Bachelorette just announced that she and now-ex-fiancé Jason Tartick had decided to part ways and split up for good. And now, on the most recent episode of her popular podcast Off The Vine, the Canadian-born star is getting real about what that means for her future — specifically when it comes to family planning.
Related: Kaitlyn Accuses Ex Shawn Booth Of Using Her For Clout For His Gym!
On Tuesday, the latest ep of the Bachelor Nation star’s aforementioned podcast debuted with quite a bit of discussion about her romantic future now that she is once again single. And it sounds like Kaitlyn is struggling with the thoughts of getting back out into the dating pool and trying to once again figure out a path forward.
In this week’s ep, she first got around to that discussion by focusing on one thing this breakup undoubtedly means: that she won’t be having kids with Jason. Or, she presumes, at any point in the very near future without a partner by her side.
Referencing a convo she had at the beginning of the podcast about technology’s creeping influence on society, Kaitlyn first harkened back to some of her concerns about society’s digital future:
“This is a very deep conversation and deep question, but I have a huge fear of having kids because all of this [digital technology and social media], because of what life could look like in ten years, with all the things we’re talking about.”
Then, she went into a discussion about how that relates to her own life.
For one, the former reality TV leading lady said she is “more and more terrified to have kids” as time keeps passing. And even though she has forever wanted “to be a mom,” the ABC alum explained how there’s a ton of shame and guilt with it because of the fact that it hasn’t happened yet:
“And I always thought having a family would be, I can’t wait. I want to be a mom, all these things. And each year that goes on, I get more and more terrified to have kids. And then there’s shame around that too. Because how could you not want to? That’s what you are born to do is procreate, to do this. And you know, the shame around all that with not having kids.”
Oof.
Girl!! We just want to, like, give you a hug!! We hate that she’s feeling this way. And we totally get how emotions are running high following her and Tartick’s shocking split. But UGH!! Somebody, please, give her a hug or something! Send her some support!
Related: Nick Viall Responds HARD After Kaitlyn Claimed Bachelorette Producers ‘Brainwashed’ Her!
Then, while referencing that shame and worry about social media judgment, Kaitlyn concluded:
“I, of course, want to lead by example, and that’s such a huge part of parenting. Again, this all goes back to it’s probably not even I know the answer. It’s probably I’m worried about what people on social media are gonna say about a girl who’s single again and 38 and not having a family.”
We get it. And we get that the social media stuff would be an issue for her — or any Bachelor Nation alum who has a massive public profile and tons and tons of very active followers online.
As Perezcious readers may recall, just after her split from Tartick was first announced back on Sunday, Bristowe popped up on Instagram to reveal that she was going to be taking a serious social media break. So, clearly she’s concerned about what reality TV fans and critics have to say about her personal choices. That’s not ideal, to say the least.
All we can really do is send love and light to both her and Tartick during this difficult time of transition…
Reactions, Perezcious readers?
[Image via Kaitlyn Bristowe/Instagram/Jason Tartick/Instagram]
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