Elliot Page is spilling all the tea in his new memoir — including spicy secret relationships!!!
In the actor’s upcoming book, Pageboy: A Memoir, out on June 6, he opens up about struggling to find his identity and navigating Hollywood, especially after the success of Juno in 2007, coming out publicly as gay in 2014, and then as trans in December 2020. It’s been a journey! But there have also been lots of secrets along the way that he is finally ready to unearth. And not just his own…
Related: Elliot Page Is Finally Ready To Date After Divorce
On Friday, People sat down with The Umbrella Academy performer to get the inside scoop on what to expect from the memoir and what it has been like to fully transition into his most authentic self. He gushed:
“Today I definitely feel a way that I never thought I would get to feel. I think that mostly manifests in how present I feel. The sort of ease and the ability to exist. There’s been periods in my life where I really felt like I wasn’t. We talk about trans joy and euphoria and all of those things and so much of it is in the stillness. I just feel so lucky.”
LOVE IT!
Now onto the juicy stuff from the book…
Contents [hide]
In Love With Kate Mara
Perhaps the most surprising revelation revealed in the book is that he once had a secret romance with Kate Mara! And the House of Cards star was in another relationship at the time, with Social Network actor Max Minghella! Whaa? In the book, Elliot reveals:
“The first person I fell for after my heart was broken was Kate Mara. She had a boyfriend at the time, the lovely and talented Max Minghella.”
The romance occurred while Elliot was filming 2014’s X-Men: Days of Future Past. Speaking to People, he insisted he had Kate’s permission to share the relationship publicly since she “has read the book” and is even appearing with him at a book event in Los Angeles in June. According to the author, Kate’s boyfriend at the time was supportive of her exploring her feelings for Elliot. And it sounds like the relationship was really serious, as Elliot said Kate once said:
“I never thought I could be in love with two people and now I know I can.”
Wow! Reflecting, the Canadian continued:
“This was right after I’d come out as gay and it was a time of exploration and also heartbreak. I think my relationship, or whatever you want to call it with Kate, very much encapsulates a certain dynamic that I consistently found myself in, which was falling for people that — I think a lot of us do this — who aren’t fully available. And the sort of safety in that and the highs and the lows and the serotonin bump, and then it goes away. […] And I think that is definitely a pattern in my life.”
While things didn’t work out, the exes are still close:
“I think the love and care that we have for each other is it’s very own special thing. Separate from the intimacy that I write about.”
Also, Kate actually showed Elliot love on the ‘gram earlier this year when reposting one of his selfies! Take a look:
Dating In Secret
This wasn’t the only secret relationship Elliot lived through. He also said he dated a closeted co-star in a movie, whom he referred to by the fake name “Ryan.” They would secretly hold hands on set but also pretend to be nothing more than friends in public. As they would get trailed by paparazzi, they would leave hotels from different doors and never look at each other in public to avoid speculation! But, of course, this took its toll:
“Some of my closest friends didn’t even know I was in a relationship. And I was in a relationship where we were in a relationship for a decent amount of time. I mean, that is next level.”
He continued:
“Ultimately, I do think she loved me. We loved each other and that was very real in our bubble. It was fantastic. You know, it was really beautiful. I admired about her and how she inspired me in many ways. But feeling hidden was far too painful. That was impossible and not a sustainable relationship at all. And it taught me that I was not gonna do that again.”
Realizing some people might be shocked to hear LGBTQ+ co-stars still date in private as if we were living in the 1950s, he said “hell yeah, it does” still happen today.
Famous A**hole At Party
In a chapter aptly titled “Famous A**hole at Party,” the Inception alum recalled being at a birthday party in El Lay in 2014 when an A-list “acquaintance” told him, “You aren’t gay. That doesn’t exist. You are just afraid of men.” He then told Page:
“I’m going to f**k you to make you realize you aren’t gay.”
WTF. So gross! And really scary, tbh. That’s some Boys Don’t Cry stuff.
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A few days later, Page writes, they ran into each other at the gym and the friend insisted:
“I don’t have a problem with gay people I swear.”
Elliot replied:
“I think you might.”
On why it was important to include this in the book, the artist mused:
“I’ve had some version of that happen many times throughout my life. A lot of queer and trans people deal with it incessantly. These moments that we often like don’t talk about or we’re supposed to just brush off, when actually it’s very awful. I put that story in the book because it’s about highlighting the reality, the s**t we deal with and what gets sent to us constantly, particularly in environments that are predominantly cis and heterosexual. How we navigate that world where you either have more extreme, overt moments like that. Or you have the more, like, subtle jokes. [In Hollywood] these are very powerful people. They’re the ones choosing what stories are being told and creating content for people to see all around the world.”
Noting many people heard and saw what happened, the 36-year-old said:
“I’m purposely not sharing his name. But he will hear about this and know it’s him.”
We kinda wish this guy would get outed. But for now we guess it’s enough to know he’s being embarrassed among his circle of friends.
Power In Friendship
While Elliot has had to put up with a lot, thankfully, he’s had a great support system, as well. He went on to talk about his inspiring friendships with Catherine Keener, Kristen Wiig, and Alia Shawkat, writing:
“We all love Catherine Keener, of course. Catherine I’ve known since I was 19, and she’s been one of the most important people in my life. Not only when we were working together on a film we were shooting when I was 19, called An American Crime. But later, when I was back in Los Angeles during the whole sort of Juno awards season time — which was overwhelming to say the least — she let me live with her. She has been someone that I could rely on and go to without question. Since I’ve met her, she’s one of the closest people to me in my life. And one of those people who you don’t really know who you’d be without.”
When he was having issues filming Whip It, co-stars Kristen and Alia were always there for him, he shared:
“Kristen, who, actually I first met on SNL but on Whip It properly, is also someone who at very difficult, challenging moments in my life just showed up. Although it was not surprising because she’s an incredible person. Alia has also been a person in my life who, like Kristen, just always encouraged me to be my authentic self. Encouraged me to go against the forces that were telling me to not be. So just true, grounded, sincere people who were very just selfless and kind and loving friends.”
In Awe of Michael Cera
Elsewhere in the book, Elliot opened up about his admiration for Michael Cera while recalling a time he watched Cera sleep on a plane as they flew to LA together to audition for Juno. He dished:
“How could he be so relaxed? I used to look at people and wonder how they were so comfortable. Don’t get me wrong. And it’s not even about being happy or not, but I just would watch people just sort of exist. I remember an ex, I’d be like, ‘What do you do when you wake up in the morning?’ I didn’t really actually understand how people just got in their car and went to get groceries or I didn’t understand. I actually didn’t understand. And I just thought I was always going to feel that way and that I’d be this sort of annoying person. I’m sure people around me were kind of like, ‘What is his deal? He can’t get his s**t together.’ And now here I am. And it’s so unfortunate that it bothers people so much. It’s so unfortunate that people for whatever reason want to take that away from trans people. I just don’t understand.”
Gender Dysphoria
As the book comes out, Elliot is ready to talk about all of this even more…
In an emotional sneak peek of his upcoming interview with ABC News shared by Good Morning America on Wednesday, the Oscar nominee revealed he dealt with a lot of “self-disgust” while navigating his acting career and gender dysphoria. Describing what it was like before he transitioned, he expressed:
“My body started to change and clothes sat on me differently, and all of that just was, really was the beginning of really sort of disconnecting from myself and feeling a degree of discomfort that was very erosive and damaging.”
Coming out as trans was particularly challenging because Page never grew up aware of the term. And when he was made aware of it, it was usually a topic often mocked by his classmates in health class. On how harmful this can be, he said:
“The experiences I had in regards to bullying only encourages the shame that literally makes you sick. The hiding, the self-disgust, the ‘I’m wrong, there’s something wrong with me,’ that narrative.”
Experiencing gender dysphoria, which is the “feeling of discomfort or distress that might occur in people whose gender identity is different from their sex assigned at birth,” per the Mayo Clinic, led him to further “incongruence and disconnect” growing up. He noted:
“It especially became complicated as an actor because people would just go, ‘You’re an actor, just put on the f**king clothes.’ But needless to say, it was so much more than that.”
Whoa. Such an honest and vulnerable book and interview, with lots more to come when Pagebook hits shelves next week followed by the full interview, The Freedom to Exist With Elliot Page — A Soul of a Nation Presentation, out on ABC at 10 p.m. on Tuesday. Thoughts? Let us know (below).
[Image via People/Today Show/YouTube]
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